Written by Phoebe
The vet’s office was white.
White on the walls, floor, ceiling, and furniture. White.
Alex wasn’t sure she liked the white. It made her dizzy but not as much as blood.
Alex felt her head go light just at the name of the word. She swallowed hard and looked down at Crescendo, her Bernese mountain dog.
She and her boyfriend, along with a few friends, had named the puppy Crescendo because he loved loud music and he was also loud too. Now, though, he wasn’t being very loud. He was quiet, which is very rare.
A few days ago, he just lay on the floor, hurting. After taking him to the vet, they figured out that he had swallowed some of her friends’ scrunchies when they went visiting over the weekend. The ladies were all about style and fashion but were quite disorganized; all manner of hair and clothing accessories lay everywhere on the floor. Luckily, they were able to get an appointment quickly; now, here they are.
The vet’s office was crowded when they arrived. There was a little girl and her mother with their chubby tabby cat in the same room where Alex’s appointment was. Somehow, they caught her attention among the many other clients with their pets, possibly because the cat seemed to be totally at peace with the vet’s office. The way the cat batted her eyes made Alex suspect it was a queen. Her kittens must be at home, wondering where their mother was. Alex turned away from the cat, seemingly having had enough of her speculation, as it mattered.
She sat across from an elderly man. His hair was white, but his eyes were the brightest blue she had ever seen. He sat with his sleeping dog in his lap; he stroked his dog’s fur with a trembling hand, and whenever she looked up and their eyes met, he would give her the sweetest lopsided smile.
She checked her watch; it was 4:42 pm. Crescendo was supposed to eat soon.
Alex pulled her purse from under her and pulled the zip open. Since barely anyone was there, it was the loudest sound at the moment. The man’s Australian Shepherd had lifted its head and perked its ears up a bit. Even Crescendo had lifted his head.
“Sorry,” Alex whispered.
It was then that she noticed the shepherd’s eye colors. Blue and dark brown. She had met dogs with different colored eyes; she met cats like that too, but this dog was stunning. Its wonderful coat brought out its eyes, and from a distance, she could finally tell it was female.
She shook her head and sent her focus back to Crescendo. She pulled out a little packet of treats. Crescendo’s fluffy ears lifted as he caught the smell of his favorite snack, but when she had bent down and handed it to him, he whimpered and put his head back down.
“Not hungry?” Alex whispered.
He just grumbled and placed his head back on the floor.
“Okay then,” Alex said as she sat back up, placed the treats back in her purse, and pulled out some of her snacks.
She tried not to be so awkward and ate as quietly as she could. It reminded her of when she was a teenager. When she would sneak snacks into class when you were not supposed to, or during an exam when you needed to be quiet, but your stomach could not do the same.
A while later, a lady, supposedly one of the vet’s assistants, peeked out from behind the wall and looked straight at Alex.
“Alex?” She said,
She stood up quickly, noticing that the elderly man did the same.
“Sorry, Alex Tomplin?” The lady corrected.
The man slowly sat back down in his seat.
“Sorry, young lady, looks like we share the same first name.” The man, Alex, said with a wheezy voice as his bombing laughter followed afterwards.
Alex laughed too, and so did the lady. His laugh was contagious, even the dogs seemed a little happier.
Alex tugged on Crescendo’s leash, and he carefully got up. She followed the lady to the hallway to the vet’s surgery room.
Suddenly, Alex felt a warm rush behind her ears.
What if there’s something in there I can’t handle?
Blood.
The word tasted like vomit on her tongue, or was she actually going to vomit?
She slowed her pace down as she swallowed hard. Crescendo stopped and nudged her leg; she couldn’t hide her emotions from this dog.
“Everything alright?” the vet’s assistant asked.
Alex nodded, realizing they were already in front of the door to the surgery room. The vet surgeon was getting things set as she placed her mask on.
Alex swallowed hard again. She knew she wouldn’t be able to talk without vomiting all over the floor.
“You want to step in?” The vet surgeon asked as she placed her hands on the door frame.
Alex fought the strong urge to shake her head as she looked down at Crescendo. He looked sad, almost, as he whined.
“You can stay until he’s sedated.” The surgeon offered.
“Yeah, sure,” Alex said.
As she stepped toward the door, she felt her head spin. Her stomach dropped, and her head went cold so fast it felt like someone pulled the heat straight out of her.
She heard herself gasp as she reached for the wall. She felt steady arms around her, and another hand took Crescendo’s leash from her trembling hands.
Her vision pulsed at the edges; hearing her heart beating so fast did not help.
She heard distant voices speaking and Crescendo whining in the background.
She felt herself being turned away from the doorframe, and her vision swam.
Alex told herself that she could not pass out now; she was supposed to help Crescendo so he wouldn’t be so scared, but how could she help him if she could not help herself?
Then she noticed that she couldn’t hear Crescendo anymore; she hadn’t even realized that she had closed her eyes to keep from getting more dizzy. She slowly lifted her eyelids, and the light in the hallway felt too bright suddenly.
Alex breathed in and out slowly to steady herself. Once she believed she was steady, she opened her eyes fully again.
“You alright?”
Alex jumped at the voice; it was the vet’s assistant from before.
Alex noticed that she was now at the beginning of the hallway entrance again.
“Is my dog okay?” Alex asked, but her voice sounded hollow.
“Yes, he’s alright. We just made sure you were okay too.” She said the assistant’s voice sounded distant and deep.
Alex just nodded as she walked out of the hallway back to the waiting room. Once the assistant was gone, Alex let herself collapse on the ground. The dizziness was still there; she tried to breathe in and out as red clouded her vision.
Blood was in her own body; how could she have a phobia for what’s inside her? It made no sense to her; she felt utterly pathetic.
Suddenly she felt a wet sensation on her face. She gasped as she jumped back and opened her eyes again.
The Australian Shepherd from before was standing in front of her, tongue out, and staring right at her. The shepherd’s owner, the elderly man, was standing in front of her too, his hands on his knees while he squinted at her.
“Are you okay, dear?” He said.
Alex didn’t want to speak, not trusting her voice, but she didn’t know whether to shake her head or nod.
“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” he said, “but let me help you up.”
Alex stared at the man’s stretched-out hand.
“Come on.” He said as he stretched his hand out more.
Alex took the man’s hand, and he helped her up. He and his dog guided her to the seats and slowly set her down.
“Better now?” The man asked.
Alex started thinking about whether she should nod or shake her head. Then the shepherd climbed up onto the seat and lay on Alex’s lap. Alex reached out to pet the dog; her fur felt so soft and light, and it calmed her down quickly.
“Yes,” she said to the man, “I’m better now.”
“Good.” The man said as he slapped his hands on his thighs.
As the time passed, it seemed very slow to Alex, but she loved petting the Shepherd’s fur. It was full and almost silky. She loved that it wasn’t clumpy like Crescendo’s.
“I believe we have the same name?” The man asked suddenly, and it startled Alex a little.
“Yes,” she responded, “I believe we do.”
“Alexander Elms.” The man said as he extended his hand out.
“Alexandera Tomplin,” Alex said as she shook the man’s hand.
“Miss Tomplin,” Mr. Elms said, “were you okay back there? You seemed really out of it.”
Alex froze for a second; she stopped petting the shepherd’s fur, and she fixed her eyes on the floor.
Should she really tell this stranger what was wrong with her? She didn’t know this man; stranger danger. She suddenly felt like a child again, feeling so unsure and insecure about her decisions. But the man helped her; he calmed her down and had not asked her to stop petting his dog. He was kind.
“I deal with hemophobia, a fear of blood,” Alex said.
“I had a friend back in high school who was extremely scared of needles.” Mr. Elms said as he smiled.
“Trypanophobia,” Alex whispered as the man laughed again, his contagious laughter.
“We just called it needle phobia back then.” Mr. Elms said as he laughed once more, and Alex joined in.
When their laughter died down, the silence wasn’t as terrifying as last time.
A while later, the vet’s assistant came back with Crescendo, his leash in her hands, but not on Crescendo himself; he walked beside her.
Alex carefully lifted the shepherd off her lap, and she got up to greet her dog. She slowly crouched down and gave him a gentle hug, trying to be aware that he had just finished the surgery.
“You’re such a good boy,” she said as she scratched behind his ears. He barked quietly and kicked his back leg.
She nuzzled his nose and stood up again. The vet’s assistant gave her some papers and dates for upcoming checkups and a few instructions to help Crescendo as he heals.
“Thank you so much.” She said as the assistant smiled and walked back to the hallway.
“Well, this is where we split.” Mr. Elms said, standing up, his hand out again.
She shook his hand once more as she smiled.
“Thank you, Mr. Elms.”
“You’re welcome, dear.”
As she placed the leash on Crescendo’s neck, Mr. Elms bent down a little and read Crescendo’s collar.
“Crescendo.” He whispered and smiled. “What a nice name.”
“Thank you,” Alex said as she felt her smile grow wider.
A little silence followed as Alex finished on her dog’s leash and fed Crescendo a little.
Alex cleared her throat when she was done and looked up at Mr. Elms.
“Thank you for everything, Mr. Elms.”
“Oh, it’s nothing, dear.” He said with a smile, his eyes shining. “I help when I can.”
As Alex turned to leave, her eyes caught the Shepherd’s again.
“What’s your dog’s name?” Alex asked.
“Somewhat.”